11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's not a walk of shame if you run
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
