I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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