I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
