Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
