Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
