everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
