i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
