this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
