He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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