i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
