You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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