hotel room ftw
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
