So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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