I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
