I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
