And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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