Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
