haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it glows. i had to have it.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
