ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
