wanna go halves on a baby?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think your dad took our porno
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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