scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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