D3 body, D1 cock
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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