Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
