but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
