You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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