Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
