How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
