he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize