i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
