dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
