Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
