Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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