it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
