No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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