i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
