508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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