Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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