Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
