Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I cut my penus on the lid.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
