Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize