they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
