this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
