can we get nightvision for the apartment?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
