i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
