if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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