Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i came on her dog
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
