It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
