my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
