My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Found the puke drawer
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
