Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He has the fingertips of a God
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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