"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
