dude i'm inner monologue high
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Found the puke drawer
I need a burrito and a hug.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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