She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
