i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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