maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize