We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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