Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
