Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize